So I never wanted to write this. But last year we lost David.

Still don’t want to talk about it really but I don’t think anyone reads my blog anyway so this really is just for me.

Within a few days of his passing I disappeared into the studio. I decided to paint him. Almost a spiritual grieving process that I can’t describe. How I managed to finish this and to a level I’m so proud of I will never know. I think I spoke to him and cried the entire time.

I am angry at myself because I wanted to do this before his passing. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me and to say thank you for welcoming me into his family and treating me as one of his own. But through his illness I kept thinking if I did paint him, I would have to accept what was happening.

I was highly honoured to be able to give this to my mother in law, Anne. Couldn’t show it to her for a long while though as of course it was too painful for her. And then the guilt of making her hurt even more with something I had created was horrible. Was it the right thing? I don’t know.

I think he would have liked it.